My friend's daughter is 15 but acts like she's "mature", any advice for them? - Car Audio Classifieds!
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Old 05-03-2012, 03:45 AM
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Default My friend's daughter is 15 but acts like she's "mature", any advice for them?

What I mean by that is she's getting really frisky with dudes around her age but she just turned 15. She's one of those that developed way ahead of her age and you wouldn't think twice if she said she's 19. My friends (who are her parents) basically spoils her because she's their only child and they don't want her to become what they were when they were young... ran away from home, got pregnant at the age of 16, did hard drugs, etc... I'm not doubting their parenting skills but I kind of am. I want to give them advice because I've been friends with them for many years and know how much they love their daughter, and as a friend I feel like maybe I should say something (apparently they're in denial as far as what she does with guys). I do know her daughter well and she is very smart (she is considered "highly gifted", aka a genius when she took an IQ exam awhile ago except she decided to use her knowledge on socializing after about 8th grade).

Should I say something to the daughter and/or my friends or should I just let them be and hopefully her actions won't destroy her parent's hopes and dreams?
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:00 AM
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Write this down and show it to her.

Play with boys, get pregnant > Drop out of school to raise baby > No diploma, no job > No job, broke for the rest of your life. And life sucks without money to buy all the toys her parents presently buy her. Like her iPhone/Galaxy, shoes, clothes etc. Tell them how much they'll get paid working at Walmart then break down that sum into rent, food, utilities, car payments, gas etc, and they'll see how much money they have left to buy toys.

Sometimes "smart" kids understand how much life will suck if you explain it to them step by step what consequences their actions will have. Worked for both of my exes teen kids.
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:09 AM
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How good of a friend are you if you don't address what could turn into a serious problem?
Just ask her if she's planning on doing something with her life. Then shake your head and say something along the lines of I thought you were better than this. The shock of someone she thinks highly of (guessing that part) telling her something like that might be enough to snap her out of it.

Some people just get distracted with dumb shit. I know for a fact I did.
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:14 AM
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well...if u want to, u can use this example:

my sister was sneaking around with guys when she was about that age, doing drugs, drinking and stuff like that a few years later...running all over the place, not living with any particular person or family member the last half of her life or so...and she lost her kids who have different fathers, and she didnt sober up...been arrested many times, lost her license, all that stuff...moved out to Montana about a year ago...and on April 17th she was found dead in the bathtub of the place that her and her boyfriend lived in...the sad part wasnt the drugs/alcohol that got to her :'/
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:59 AM
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How good of friends are these? I wouldn't give parenting advice to even my best/closest of friends. There is no way that will be received well. I don't care how close you are or how well you know them.

How would you like it if they told you that you were messing up with your child? Probably not much at all.

If it's really concering you, my advice is to talk to the daughter. Not her parents. She probably won't take it well or seriously either, but you just might plant a tiny seed of responsibility in there. She might think you're an ass or she might thank you. But think about when you were a teenager. You knew it all. You were bulletproof. Adults were idiots.

Honestly, I feel for kids these days. Even some of the teenagers on here. The internet and sexting and all of that jazz has desensitized them irreparably. By the time most kids today reach college age, there will be no more milestones for them sexually. But I digress.

Don't go off on her. Just tell her, "Drugs are bad. Boys will tell you anything to get in your pants. Use birth control." That's honestly about as much as you can hope to convey.
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Old 05-03-2012, 05:06 AM
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I say leave it alone because you will just look like the ******* who "told them so".

kids turn out like their parents despite everyone's best efforts.
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Old 05-03-2012, 05:25 AM
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Originally Posted by iamsonic View Post
I say leave it alone because you will just look like the ******* who "told them so".

kids turn out like their parents despite everyone's best efforts.

i do kind of disagree...i had a classmate that spread more shit than manure spreaders in the fall/spring around here...but his parents were against lieing, theyd beat his ass when ppl would tell them about lies he told...specially if he owed someone money...(he still owes a lot of ppl a lot of money lol) and my parents arent dead...there are some exceptions but overall i'd hafta agree with ur statement.
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Old 05-03-2012, 05:25 AM
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My advice is, they r screwed, the more u try to steer ur kid away from something the more the kid will try to do it as they get more curious, my ma told me over n over no to do drugs, well i ended up smoking weed pretty much every day from 5th grade to 2 years after high school, my dad let me have sips of his beer n my grandmas house had skoal vodka just sitting around so it wasnt hidden, i drank but not every day, but when i did drink i would have to control myself so i grew up acting the same way drunk as i did sober, my ma n dad never pushed me away from having sex n my dad beat "treat girls with respect" into me so i grew up not being a player n having 1 night stands, my parents know my past, my ma was a lil upset when i told her (i told her not to ask), my dad didnt give a care because he knew i was responsible, i been working since i was 13 n buying my own stuff n when i got introuble n got arrested i didnt call anyone to bail me out, i accepted punishment for my actions, now with that daughter the damage has already been done, her parents cant just switch her overnight
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Old 05-03-2012, 06:41 AM
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it also depends on the environment or society that surrounds us (city or land )

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Old 05-03-2012, 09:28 AM
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make it a joke...

and constantly remind them

hey btw!

your daughter is the school whore!!!!!

you probably wont like me
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