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  #1  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:10 PM
Car audio classifieds, stereo sales, subwoofer amps mids classified caraudio, BANNED!!
 
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My dad sends me stupid shit via emails all the time, but this was actually pretty funny
--------------------
UPS Airlines

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
*
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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  #2  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:15 PM
No, I'm not dead
 
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That's actually from Quantas, the one airline with a perfect (jet age) safety record.

Still, funny stuff!
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  #3  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:16 PM
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..and you dont need a degree to fly.
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  #4  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:17 PM
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this made my day.
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  #5  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:18 PM
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that last one is LOL. thats some funny stuff right there
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  #6  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:29 PM
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lol pretty funny
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  #7  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:35 PM
30Hz
 
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LMAO seems they have a good pilot to mechanic relationship. to be able to have fun and when its time to be serious at work. awesome e mail from yer dad
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  #8  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:42 PM
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awesome
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  #9  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:43 PM
30Hz
 
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i just pasted this to a e mail to my step dad. he'll get a kick outta this.
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