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  #1  
Old 01-15-2009, 02:19 AM
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Default Troubles with a female, advice for the noob?

So this story begins at the beginning of my junior year in high-school, fall of 2007. I sat in front of a girl during my 2nd period class, let's call her Ashley*. I noticed her looks the first day, but didn't start talking to her for a couple weeks, and really started to like her after about a month, but never told her. I brought in breakfast every morning for the both of us because she didn't have a car and couldn't get any for herself. She's in band, has high aspirations, maintains good grades, and hangs out with (as far as I know) the "good" crowd. I'm lazy, have high aspirations, no work ethic, horrible grades, and hang out with the "bad" crowd. During the time period that we were in this class together, I was pretty into some fun stuff (DXM, Weed, Booze) and I'm pretty sure this is why we never got together then. After the end of this class we were on good terms but we seldom saw each other or talked. Usually when we did talk, she initiated the conversation (invited me to a concert, texts at 1AM).

Enter my ex-girlfriend, let's call her Crystal*. She was a *****, treated me like ****, and took advantage of my longing for a real relationship. After we broke up, I started to think about why I ended up with her. Ashley called me one night while I was at work and told me to meet her at the park. I began to think about how drugs had ****ed up everything that could have been between her and I so I decided then and there to clean up my act. I quit everything so that it could never affect my future relationships.

Well I have been talking to Ashley more and more over the past month, trying to revive our relationship, which brings up to the past couple weeks. She got her job back which is in the next shopping center over from where my job is. Thursday night I texted her asking if she needed a ride. She said yes so I picked her up when I got off and took her home, no big deal her house is on the way to mine. Friday night was something altogether different though. I got off at 9:30 but her store didn't close until 10. I waited there and was happy to do so. She told me several times that I was not bound to giving her a ride even though I had offered. I waited inside until her boss asked me to wait outside @ ~10:45, once again it was no big deal to me. She didn't end up getting to leave until 11:30 and I was right outside the door when she came out. She was stressed about the upcoming week (finals week) and just kept talking. After a while she asked "How are you not annoyed by me?" I replied with a smile and "I don't know". Then she asked, "Why are you so nice to me?" I gave the same response. I of course offered rides to her the next few nights but worded it as, "Do you need a ride?" I didn't think anything of the wording. Each time is was kindly rejected with "No, my dad is picking me up" or "I don't need a ride".

So now where I need advice...

Keep in mind that she is planning on going to college somewhere on the east coast, while I'm staying here in Dallas. Even if we get together now, we won't be able to truly be together for at least 2 years. I have no problem with frequent road trips though...

I really believe that she feels like she she was taking advantage of me because of the way I worded the question. Is that really a possibility or am I just fooling myself?

I want to talk to her about the entire situation and tell her straight up how I feel. Is that a wise idea?

I have horrible social anxiety, so talking to her around other people is out of the question. What should I say to her to get her alone with me again?



Any advice would be greatly appreciated,
-Ryan

PS: Mods please don't move this thread to any of the private forums, I can't afford the $35 fee at the moment, but I do intend to become a member as soon as I get my new job next month.

*Names changed
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  #2  
Old 01-15-2009, 02:47 AM
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Sounds like she has ya smitten like a kitten!! (Mean no offense by that)

Well, sorry to hear about your past relationships & glad to hear that you have made the wise choice of stopping your extra curricular activities!! (Took me a long time & heartache to figure that out)

IMO, I think she might sincerely feel that way & probably doesn't want to burden you by it. At the same time, she might feel things are getting a tad bit to close for comfort & wants to take a step back without leading you on. If you honestly have this deep desire for this girl, let it be known! Dont be the wishing guy "wishing I would have said this & wishing I would have done that" thats the worse thing you can do, because you'll never know what could become!

FYI.. Just stick around & you'll be in the private area in no time, doesn't cost anything.
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Old 01-15-2009, 03:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YzFool78 View Post
If you honestly have this deep desire for this girl, let it be known! Dont be the wishing guy "wishing I would have said this & wishing I would have done that" thats the worse thing you can do, because you'll never know what could become!

I will second that. I have made that mistake and it will eat at you constantly. So many things I want to go back to high school and do that I never had the balls to do then.

So many mistakes. 5th grade was the worst for me. I was a complete douche and pretty much messed up the rest of my life.

Go for her, whats the worst that can happen?

If she says no you will still be in the same place you are now, so it can only get better.



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Old 01-15-2009, 04:09 AM
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i say you tell her whats up. whats the worst that could happen? honestly? will you die? also when doing so be confident.
i have so many what if's in my life that i would go back and do what was needed. Live you life like everyday is your last, who knows when it will be .
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Last edited by Patrick Simmons; 01-15-2009 at 10:35 AM. Reason: edited. No name calling on CACO. That can be taken to the "other" forum
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Old 01-15-2009, 04:12 AM
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just ask her if you could meet her somewhere, just the 2 of you, you need to tell her something

because of you driving her to work, still coulda tell her, picking her up isn't a big deal, since you drive that way anyway and that you wouldn't mind at all, driving alone is boring anyways
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Old 01-15-2009, 10:16 AM
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She may have felt bad that you stayed so long that day, or her 'rents may have said something.

Just remain friends and explain to her your feelings. Social anxiety is a biotch but you do need to find a way to express your feelings. The worst that can happen is that the two of you just remain friends.
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if it was anyone besides nizzy i would agree. but he gave you the benefit of the doubt and only gave you a 5 pter when it should be considered a perma ban. nizzy isnt a nazi mod, hes one of the laid back ones. although i do not support all of the staffs decisions this is one staff that i do support 100%. just let it go and move on. it will expire
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Old 01-15-2009, 10:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggy View Post
driving alone is boring anyways
That's why I hate driving. And that's why I end up doing stupid things. /threadjack



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Old 01-15-2009, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drunken.Swagger View Post
PS: Mods please don't move this thread to any of the private forums, I can't afford the $35 fee at the moment, but I do intend to become a member as soon as I get my new job next month.

*Names changed

They've already covered what I would have said. As far as the "private" forum, you'll have access to the Powder Room in no time. That's were this would go so you can also get advice from the Ladies of CACO.

Good luck!
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Old 01-15-2009, 11:23 AM
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You should talk to her about what you're thinking.

The "IF" factor will haunt you. I've got tons of that in my life, but since I got married i've started letting it go.


After I joined the Army and got back from basic/ait I no longer had social anxiety. Just a thought.
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Old 01-15-2009, 11:33 AM
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weak.....and your in DFW? wtf man...makin us look bad



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