So this story begins at the beginning of my junior year in high-school, fall of 2007. I sat in front of a girl during my 2nd period class, let's call her Ashley*. I noticed her looks the first day, but didn't start talking to her for a couple weeks, and really started to like her after about a month, but never told her. I brought in breakfast every morning for the both of us because she didn't have a car and couldn't get any for herself. She's in band, has high aspirations, maintains good grades, and hangs out with (as far as I know) the "good" crowd. I'm lazy, have high aspirations, no work ethic, horrible grades, and hang out with the "bad" crowd. During the time period that we were in this class together, I was pretty into some fun stuff (DXM, Weed, Booze) and I'm pretty sure this is why we never got together then. After the end of this class we were on good terms but we seldom saw each other or talked. Usually when we did talk, she initiated the conversation (invited me to a concert, texts at 1AM).
Enter my ex-girlfriend, let's call her Crystal*. She was a *****, treated me like ****, and took advantage of my longing for a real relationship. After we broke up, I started to think about why I ended up with her. Ashley called me one night while I was at work and told me to meet her at the park. I began to think about how drugs had ****ed up everything that could have been between her and I so I decided then and there to clean up my act. I quit everything so that it could never affect my future relationships.
Well I have been talking to Ashley more and more over the past month, trying to revive our relationship, which brings up to the past couple weeks. She got her job back which is in the next shopping center over from where my job is. Thursday night I texted her asking if she needed a ride. She said yes so I picked her up when I got off and took her home, no big deal her house is on the way to mine. Friday night was something altogether different though. I got off at 9:30 but her store didn't close until 10. I waited there and was happy to do so. She told me several times that I was not bound to giving her a ride even though I had offered. I waited inside until her boss asked me to wait outside @ ~10:45, once again it was no big deal to me. She didn't end up getting to leave until 11:30 and I was right outside the door when she came out. She was stressed about the upcoming week (finals week) and just kept talking. After a while she asked "How are you not annoyed by me?" I replied with a smile and "I don't know". Then she asked, "Why are you so nice to me?" I gave the same response. I of course offered rides to her the next few nights but worded it as, "Do you need
a ride?" I didn't think anything of the wording. Each time is was kindly rejected with "No, my dad is picking me up" or "I don't need a ride".
So now where I need advice...
Keep in mind that she is planning on going to college somewhere on the east coast, while I'm staying here in Dallas. Even if we get together now, we won't be able to truly be together for at least 2 years. I have no problem with frequent road trips though...
I really believe that she feels like she she was taking advantage of me because of the way I worded the question. Is that really a possibility or am I just fooling myself?
I want to talk to her about the entire situation and tell her straight up how I feel. Is that a wise idea?
I have horrible social anxiety, so talking to her around other people is out of the question. What should I say to her to get her alone with me again?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated,
PS: Mods please don't move this thread to any of the private forums, I can't afford the $35 fee at the moment, but I do intend to become a member as soon as I get my new job next month.