Guns Dont Kill, People Do!! (Good Read) - Car Audio Classifieds!
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  #1  
Old 02-02-2009, 02:53 PM
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Default Guns Dont Kill, People Do!! (Good Read)

Thought this was dam funny Was in our local CL rants & raves...

I thought it was a 9 he pulled, turned out to be something else!

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I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriendís purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. Iíd like to apologize.

I didnít expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasnít that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? Itís a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isnít it?

I know it probably wasnít a great deal of fun walking back to wherever youíd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. Iím sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldnít have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or ďMommaĒ as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Goís, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. Theyíll be on your bill in case youíd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and Iíve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I donít know whatís going on with that. I hope they havenít permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DAís office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so Iíd like to make it up to you. Iím sure youíve already washed your pants, so Iíd like to help you out. Iíd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? Iíd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. Iím hoping that youíll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and weíll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex
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  #2  
Old 02-02-2009, 02:53 PM
Car audio classifieds, stereo sales, subwoofer amps mids classified caraudio, BANNED!!
 
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ha i read this a while ago
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Old 02-02-2009, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tc3k101 View Post
ha i read this a while ago

Yeah, when I read Nizzy's post that reminded me off this, so thought I would post it up for those to read.. lol
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Old 02-02-2009, 02:56 PM
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Guns don't kill people, it's the little metal pellets flying out the ends of them that do that.
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  #5  
Old 02-02-2009, 02:58 PM
Car audio classifieds, stereo sales, subwoofer amps mids classified caraudio, BANNED!!
 
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I remember this one but excellent read for a laugh
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:00 PM
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lmao good one hahaha
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Team XS Power
/ Team Sundown / Team SHOK
MD, PA, DE Sundown Audio Sales Rep
SHOK Industries Dealer

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Old 02-02-2009, 03:03 PM
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Oldie but goodie
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My Car, My Ears.

Quote:
if it was anyone besides nizzy i would agree. but he gave you the benefit of the doubt and only gave you a 5 pter when it should be considered a perma ban. nizzy isnt a nazi mod, hes one of the laid back ones. although i do not support all of the staffs decisions this is one staff that i do support 100%. just let it go and move on. it will expire
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Old 02-02-2009, 07:51 PM
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That's hillarious!
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