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  #1  
Old 02-04-2009, 07:58 AM
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Talking Clean jokes Part...Whatevah

A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day
when he heard a voice say,
'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see any one.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say a gain,
'Pick me up.'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.
Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you
have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will
be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time,
reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.
The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'
With age comes wisdom.
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  #2  
Old 02-04-2009, 08:13 AM
No, I'm not dead
 
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A guy saunters into a bar with a dog under his arm. He sits down, places the don on the stool next to him and orders a whiskey for him and a beer for the dog. The bartender looks the guy and his furry companion up and down and tells the guy "I don't serve dogs, it's gotta go." The guy says "I bet you'll serve this one, he can talk." The bartender says "If he talks he gets his beer, if he don't, you both get the bum's rush."

The guy turns to the dog and says "What's the texture of sandpaper?" The dog looks at him and says "Rough" he then asks "What's on top of a house?" To which the dog replies "Roof" he then follows up with "Who is the best baseball player of all time?" To which the dog answers "Ruth". The bartender had heard enough, he threw them both out on the street. As they were picking up the remains of their dignity the dog turns to the man and asks "Do ya think I shoulda said 'Hank Aaron'?"
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  #3  
Old 02-04-2009, 08:30 AM
No, I'm not dead
 
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Why won't a shark eat a lawyer? Professional courtesy.
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  #4  
Old 02-04-2009, 08:42 AM
Car audio classifieds, stereo sales, subwoofer amps mids classified caraudio, BANNED!!
 
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haha
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  #5  
Old 02-04-2009, 10:10 AM
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Lolz good'uns.
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Quote:
if it was anyone besides nizzy i would agree. but he gave you the benefit of the doubt and only gave you a 5 pter when it should be considered a perma ban. nizzy isnt a nazi mod, hes one of the laid back ones. although i do not support all of the staffs decisions this is one staff that i do support 100%. just let it go and move on. it will expire
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  #6  
Old 02-04-2009, 10:34 AM
Car audio classifieds, stereo sales, subwoofer amps mids classified caraudio, BANNED!!
 
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Excuse the >>, it was sent through work email and I don't fill like editing them out.

>
> The brown lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything --the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
>
> But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
>
> The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
>
> "Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the brown lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."
>
> The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
>
> The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it.
>
> When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."
>
> So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too." the dejected yellow lab said.
>
> The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
>
> I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, postboxes, whatever.
>
> I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes,
>
> and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away".
>
> The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"
>
> The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
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  #7  
Old 02-04-2009, 10:41 AM
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I think I saw a vid of that last dog somewhere...
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  #8  
Old 02-04-2009, 10:48 AM
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lmao... I know I've seen vids of those dogs somewhere LMAO.
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Quote:
if it was anyone besides nizzy i would agree. but he gave you the benefit of the doubt and only gave you a 5 pter when it should be considered a perma ban. nizzy isnt a nazi mod, hes one of the laid back ones. although i do not support all of the staffs decisions this is one staff that i do support 100%. just let it go and move on. it will expire
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  #9  
Old 02-04-2009, 11:04 AM
Car audio classifieds, stereo sales, subwoofer amps mids classified caraudio, BANNED!!
 
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must see video, that has to be funny. I laughed just reading it.
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Simmons View Post
must see video, that has to be funny. I laughed just reading it.
Dang bro, it went right over your head.. we're talking beastiality.. lmaoz.
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Quote:
if it was anyone besides nizzy i would agree. but he gave you the benefit of the doubt and only gave you a 5 pter when it should be considered a perma ban. nizzy isnt a nazi mod, hes one of the laid back ones. although i do not support all of the staffs decisions this is one staff that i do support 100%. just let it go and move on. it will expire
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