Wow, this has to be the greatest birthday ever...
I ruined a relationship with one of my best friends.
Some d-bag ruined one of my spark-plug wires. (Luckily I had bought the premium ones and they had a lifetime warranty.)
My A/C compressor is going out.
I'm an 18yo virgin.
And I feel like a complete ass-wipe.
It's a good thing I don't have a knife handy or I'd be going at my wrist like a fat kid on a cup-cake.